I VOTED TODAY!!!

I am TOO EXCITED! No, it wasn't my first time voting early, but it was the first time that voting meant so much more. As I approached the early voting location, the thought hit me (Divinely I believe) to document the moments so that they would be savored forever. I sent a series of emails to my friends each step along the way. I probably wasn't supposed to be taking pictures, but since I didn't get caught...here it is!

2:30 PM:
So, here I am in line at the State Archives bldg. It's 2:30 and there are at least 100 people in line ahead of me and 50 more behind me. Not sure what happens after we make it into the auditorium or how many more people are in there!

2:52 PM:
After an 8 min coaching session on the 7 amendments from one of my fav advisors, I've made it into the auditorium. [I'm very ashamed to admit that I'd been too busy MANAGING A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN to notice that there were going to be 7 constitutional amendments also on the ballot. When I got to the voting location I was completely caught off guard and had to get some insight on them at the last minute!] There are 10 voting stations and about 3 ID verifiers/check in stations [actually there were 4]. The line is moving quickly. It's very fluid.

In about 5 mins, I will cast my history changing vote. What an awesome moment!!!

3:13 PM:

Okay, I'm in my car and I have to admit, I walked out a little emotional as the reality of what I've just done sinks in. I just voted for a brilliant, qualified, young, energetic, community serving, Spirit led, BLACK MAN to be President of the United States of America!!! I am sitting in my car in tears as if I can hear the voice of Harriett Tubman saying "don't turn back!" and MLK saying "I have a dream that someday..." and Langston Hughes writing "what happens to a dream deferred...". I hear my ancestors finally exhaling in relief. I hear my slave foreparents resting now, knowing that their labor was not in vain....and the chorus singing "...we shall overcome someday."

My heart is full of joy and I am completely overwhelmed, knowing that this moment will be shared for generations to come. In the words of Maya Angelou, "Barack Obama, we speak your name."

Now I'm drying my face and going to find something to eat.

Wow, what a day. Yes We Can...and Yes I Did!

The Devastation of Hurricane Gustav: The Final Update

Yesterday's sunset. The remnants of Gustav are barely visible in the sky, but still so devastatingly evident on the ground.

Well, it's day five post Gustav and I've grown weary of talking about it. My energy and attention is focused on my fellow Baton Rougeans who are still without basic services and supplies, so it's tough for me to keep talking about the devastation of the storm from behind a laptop and not be there to help.

Blue skies can finally be seen here, but so many people are singing the blues.

I've been pondering going back to Baton Rouge this weekend to see what I can help do, but here's the problem. The city's basic services are compromised and one more person seeking gasoline and food just adds to the already strained situation. Can I make more of an impact by going down there and helping somebody clear their debris or by staying off the dangerous roads with no signal lights that are starting to flood and out of the 2 to 4 hour long gas station lines and out of the few open grocery stores that have limited food in stock?

Now that the wind has stopped blowing and the cleanup has begun, people in Baton Rouge are waging the war against the threat of flooding - as if roof damage and no power isn't enough to deal with. Streets are completely flooded about a block away from my house and the weather reports indicate that Baton Rouge still has more rain to come.

I received alarmed calls this morning that my neighbors' houses are starting to flood. I live on a dead end street with a cul-de-sac at the end. There is a canal that runs behind my house and about five years ago (before I moved there - during Hurricane Allison I think), the street flooded. I knew of the flood because a friend of mine had just purchased a house in the cul-de-sac a couple of months before the flood and her house had to be completely redone because of the floodwater, but I wasn't sure how far the waters moved down the street. Her house and my house are about 50 yards apart. Thankfully, I was able to confirm that in past floods the waters haven't gone as far as my house.

The national media is finally starting to give some attention to areas that have been so heavily damaged that are not named NEW ORLEANS. I just saw on CNN where Don Lemon, who is a Baton Rouge native, did a live phone interview with his mom and she was able to tell of the devastation in our area. Estimates maintain that the majority of the city will be without power for up to a month. Tornadoes touched down, banks are closed, ATMs don't work, the sewer systems are without power, people lost roofs or had extensive roof damage, services are very limited, and now the potential of flooding. Baton Rouge has taken a blow that it hadn't experienced in 43 years, but our sense of community will pull us thru. Friends are cleaning up my yard and I didn't even ask them to! Others are showing up in the same way to help friends, neighbors, and strangers all over the city.

At least three different people I know have post-evacuated to Atlanta. I'm sure others who have the means are probably seeking a more palatable situation elsewhere too - especially considering that it could be several weeks before power is restored. It's over 90 degrees in south Louisiana and combined with the breeding ground for mosquitoes, the misery is compounded. It's too hot to stay inside, and mosquitoes will feast on you outside.

Oh well...such is the life we chose by living on the Gulf Coast. The humid sub-tropical climate is ideal in winter, island-like in spring and fall, and muy caliente in summer. Hurricane season always makes us think twice about our geographic location, but as soon as it passes, we forget the angst of the season and bask in the mild temperatures to come.

Let's just pray that Hurricane Ike doesn't come near us and live up to its namesake.

Gustav - Day Three: Assessing the State of the Situation

Our lights came back on at 3:15pm today...just as Dad had started to resume his intense generator repair project. Honestly, I feel a little guilty that we have all the creature comforts of electricity, food, and the internet, when so many of my friends are hot, bored, filing insurance claims, and in one case...homeless.

Last night, people from the lower parishes of Louisiana spent the night with infants, elderly, infirmed, insane and all manner of other people in shelters, hotels, motels, tents, and homes across the nation. Some are hundreds of miles away, having been flow out of New Orleans by cargo plane or transported by train. Many were bused to northern parts of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Texas. Others drove themselves to destinations unknown.


While so many fled from areas below I-10, those above I-10 had no idea that today would look like this. The city of Baton Rouge is stunned and was caught very off guard by the direct path of destruction that Gustav left as his legacy. Every home is without power. No gas is available. No stores are open. Debris is everywhere. Over 400 trees fell on or through roofs. Three or four hundred traffic lights are down. Our city was preparing shelters for people from other places. We had no idea that a day later we would need to shelters to house our own.


My best friend Holly called me this morning and asked if I could find her a hotel room in Monroe. They have four children under age 7 (three of their own and a nephew who has been with them for a year while his mom is in Iraq) and the kids were restless and hot and the house was very dark. They, along with many others, hadn't properly prepared for long term inconveniences. In Baton Rouge, our hurricane prep has always been pretty light. We have always had the luxury of being able to go to a store after a hurricane - even if we lose power, at least Wal-Mart would always be open. If we needed gas, we knew we could just pull up to a gas station and fill up. Katrina taught us to keep cash on hand, because you can't count on the banks to be able to open or ATMs to work. Typically after a storm, even if you didn't really prepare beforehand, you still have access to basic services afterward, but this time is so different. No one expected to not have access to food or to gas. No one expected 100% of the city's residents would lose power. No one expected that they may have to wait as long as two weeks before power is restored. Not in Baton Rouge. That just doesn't happen.


After I quizzed Holly on her plan to travel north for a hotel room (which by the way, there are none), we soon realized that maybe that wasn't such a good idea and she should find another alternative. She text'd me later this afternoon to say that they had decided to go to Atlanta.
Tonight I sit and listen to the sound of the rain from an air conditioned house, typing on my dad's laptop. I am a passionately thankful person and I could fill a book with things that I am grateful for at this moment. Family. Friends. Shelter. Safety. Provision. Comfort. Amenities. Transportation. Sanity. Health. Stability. Peace. So many things that so many people are not enjoying at this hour. So many things that we take for granted daily. So many things that we think we deserve...times like this should humble us all.


We complain about the price of gas and milk, but as Americans, we fail to realize that even in our worst discomfort, we are still so blessed. People in other countries don't know what it means to have central air. They can't pop into the neighborhood grocery store and pick up fresh meat and fruit. They don't have cars to complain about not being able to fill up. They have babies with HIV/AIDS. They have genocide. They have slavery. They have dictatorships. They have famine. They have isolation. They have tents and huts. They eat what they can, when they can. They are being slaughtered and mutilated because of the way they look.


...and we can't fathom not having electricity for 14 days.


Maybe Gustav was the dose of humility that we so desperately need.

A group of pine trees fell on this storage shed. The trees fell on the power lines, snapped the pole and caused the lines to fall across the homeowner's truck.

A tree branch fell at my rental property and broke down the fence on the adjacent building. It also broke a window pane in one of the units and did a little surface roof damage.

This tree looks like it was struck by lighting, but the limb was completely torn off by the force of the wind.

Similar scenes were found around town.

Tracking Hurricane Gustav - Day Two

Well, as you know, Hurricane Gustav made landfall in south Louisiana today. I'm still high and dry in north Louisiana. It's just starting to rain here and the wind is mildly gusty. There is an eerie darkness starting to fall. The kind that happens when the sun doesn't penetrate the clouds. There was no sunset today...just gloom.

We've been eating and watching CNN all day, and unfortunately, I've gotten several sad reports from my friends in Baton Rouge.

One dear friend had a tree fall through the back half of her house. She was able to salvage her clothes, shoes, and some electronics, but the house is a complete loss.

This is a pecan tree that stands behind my rental property. My tenant leaned out of the window to take a picture of how it fell apart. No damage, only a broken window pane!

A tree fell across another friend's driveway on top of two cars. A tree fell across another friend's house and caused roof damage and a flooded room. Yet another friend, who coincidentally just Saturday helped me to cut down a tree at one of my properties so that I wouldn't have damage, had roof damage that caused rain to pour into his house. Another dear friend's sister's house had the roof completely torn off. My neighbor who lives across the street from me had his back patio covering to blow completely off and land in the neighbor's yard. Many other reports of shingles missing, fences down, missing pets, tree limbs down, flooding, power lines down, and no one that I've talked to in Baton Rouge has power. Cell phone communication is hit and miss. Text messages seem to get through, but calls not so much. According to the Governor, 85% of gas stations have no gas. I guess we'll all stay put for a while.

I have a cousin who refused to leave Abbeville (south of Lafayette near the Vermillion Bay). We haven't heard from him.

Rain is expected to persist for the next four days. As a result, major flooding is expected across the city of Baton Rouge and many others in Louisiana. What's interesting is now that most of my friends are without power, they don't have access to the news and I have been the interim news reporter for most of the day. As night falls, they are firing up candles and flashlights...kids are bored senseless...parents are sleeping lightly, keeping a watch on falling trees and flooding streets.

My good friend Doug is a fireman. As the city of Baton Rouge submits to a mandatory 8pm to 6am curfew, he will be one of the few who are allowed on the streets. He was headed to work a couple of hours ago. My cousin Marcus is a BR city police officer. He's doing an 18 hour shift tomorrow. They both have long days and nights ahead. I'm praying for them and for all first responders.

It's completely dark now, but we still have power. I stepped outside a little while ago to snap some pics. I wanted to get a good shot of the trees swaying in the wind, but it didn't come out so well. The ones I have are just shots of our rain soaked surroundings.

Continue to pray for the residents of Louisiana and the Gulf Coast.

Trees swaying in the wind

Rain dripping off the crepe myrtles

Every crack and crevice is filled with water

Rain soaked border grass

Hurricane Gustav...Here We Go Again

As a resident of south Louisiana for the past 16 years, I have hung around for quite a few hurricanes. The first one was Andrew during my freshman year at Southern University. The university was without power for a few days and all they could feed us was sandwiches. Eventually I was able to find a ride home...thank God for Big Sam and his Ford Fiesta!

Fast forward 13 years to Hurricane Katrina. (Check out this blog post I did reflecting on my experience after Katrina "Who Is Mr. Eddie?") The Gulf Coast really suffered, though with all hurricanes, Baton Rouge usually only gets wind damage, which causes mass power outages, and minor flooding. Being without power seems to be a mere inconvenience compared to the loss of lives and homes in other places. Nonetheless, Hurricane Katrina would go down in the history books as the storm of the century...

...until Gustav came along.

Tonight we sit glued to the television, waiting for the inevitable landfall of Hurricane Gustav. About 24 hours ago, I decided to evacuate from Baton Rouge. Although we are 60 miles inland and were not under an evacuation order, I chose to leave because I knew that we would probably lose power for close to a week and I would rather spend the next few days in the company of my family in north Louisiana than in my house alone listening to Gustav tapping on my bedroom window and serenading me with his wind song.

While out shopping with my mom, I decided to do a photo journal documenting the storm. Here's the first installment:


"Hurricane Gustav - Day One (Sunday, August 31, 2008)"

The sunset along I-20 won't look like this tomorrow.
Evacuation buses have rolled in and stopped for supplies.
There were mostly immigrants on these evacuation buses.

Many simply can't afford to evacuate.
I wonder if her smile will be found tomorrow.
Locals and evacuees raid the stores, preparing for the worst.
Carts filled with survival necessities...non-perishables, snacks...
...and water, water everywhere!
Gustav is approaching fast.
What will we see when we wake up?
What will she see when she grows up?

New Obama Ad Rips McCain

I like this. Quite entertaining. I wonder if this is Barack Obama's official exit from "silly season" and grand entrance into "pimp slap" season.



What do you think about it?

Issac Hayes Dies

Singer Issac Hayes is dead at the age of 65. Hayes is best known for the title song from the movie "Shaft" and most recently as the voice of the character "Chef" on the cartoon South Park.

Relatives found Hayes, 65, unconscious in his home next to a still-running treadmill, said Steve Shular, a spokesman for the Shelby County Sheriff's Department. Paramedics attempted to revive him and took him to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead shortly after 2 p.m., the sheriff's department said. No foul play is suspected, the agency said in a written statement. (article)

Deepest condolences go out to his family.

Comedian Bernie Mac Dead at Age 50

Bernie Mac had been hospitalized with pneumonia for several days now and despite reports that he was responding well to treatment, his publicist has just announced that he has lost the battle and died at a Chicago hospital early this morning.

Bernie Mac was hospitalized with pneumonia on August 1, 2008. Soon after, rumors of his demise had circulated, but were denied by his publicist. On August 2, 2008, a source close to the family said that Mac was in "very, very critical" condition. He was recovering from pnemonia, most likely brought on by his sarcoidosis, in a Chicago hospital. Publicist, Danica Smith said that he was expected to make a full recovery and that he was responding well to treatment and had been expected to be released from the hospital soon.

Mac had suffered from sarcoidosis, a tissue inflammation disease, since 1983. He had said that it had no effect on his daily life.

Deepest condolences to the McCullough family. Our prayers are with you.

Check out this video of an interview Mac did with Tavis Smiley in 2007. It's so timely.

The comedian starred in the critically acclaimed Fox television series ''The Bernie Mac Show.'' His film credits include roles in the ''Ocean's Eleven'' franchise.

The actor's upcoming movies include "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa" starring Ben Stiller, Chris Rock and David Schwimmer; and "Soul Men" with Samuel L. Jackson and Isaac Hayes. (source)

Bernie Mac (October 5, 1957 - August 9, 2008), born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough, was a two time Emmy Award-nominated American actor and comedian.

Mac was married to Rhonda McCullough in 1977. They had one daughter, Je'Niece (born 1978), who attended Xavier University of Louisiana where she received both her bachelors degree in Psychology and Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling. She has been married for three years and has one daughter, Jasmine, making Bernie Mac a grandfather. (source)

Also see CNN.com article here.

John Edwards Admits It

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another politician had an affair...blah, blah, blah. That's not the real news.

The part that I'm astonished about is that the National Enquirer broke the story back in October. That's ten months ago! So you mean to tell me that the National Enquirer has been right all these years? There really are aliens running a bar and grill in El Segundo? Elvis really lives at Neverland Ranch? The brown cow with two heads that is being raised on Bush's ranch in Crawford, Tx is the sole producer of organic chocolate milk with a natural enzyme that can allow it to be used as a fuel substitute?

We've been hookwinked! Bamboozled! The National Enquirer should demand a national apology for all the years of ridicule and glances of disgust it has endured at the checkout counters in grocery stores across America.

John Edwards was busted with his mistress Rielle Hunter a long time ago and because it was the Enquirer, no one realized the story was credible. Now Ms. Hunter is either Edwards' or a campaign aide's (Andrew Young, who is also married w/children) baby mama.

He [Edwards] said he has not taken a paternity test but that the timing of the affair rules out the possibility that he could be the father of Hunter's 5-month-old child (CNN.com article). Not because he used a condom or she was on birth control, but because of the timing. Wow. And you wonder why STDs are at an epidemic among teens. How can you expect a 15 year old to be responsible if presidential candidates are too dumb to use protection?

I guess Hillary just got bumped up a notch on the possible Democratic VP list.

Texas Swinger Sex Club Taught Children to Have Sex

So while the John McCain is making videos about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, pledging to rebuild another country by continuing a 100-year war, and wasting money on tire gauge gag gifts, this is what's happening on the mean streets of America. Where's Governor Bush when you need him?

In Tyler, Texas, Patrick "Booger Red" Kelly is on trial for helping to run swinger parties that forced children as young as 5 to have sex, prosecutors told jurors as the Mineola Swinger's Club trial began.

Kelly is accused of helping start a "kindergarten" where the children learned to have sex with each other and dance provocatively. From there, the children graduated to the sex club, which was a rented-out former day care and hospital in the tiny railroad town of Mineola. To help the children perform, prosecutors say, the adults gave them Vicodin-like drugs passed off as "silly pills."

An 11-year-old girl testified about taking "silly pills" and playing "doctor" with her younger brother at the club, where prosecutors say the siblings performed for paying audiences.

The girl testified that before she got to dance at the Mineola club, she first had to graduate from a different kind of kindergarten. "What would learn at that kindergarten?" the prosecutor asked. "How to touch each other and how to dance," the girl replied. "How would they teach you how to touch each other?" asked the prosecutor. "They would use these dolls," said the girl. (source)

This case has been described as "pure evil" and after scanning through the article, it's hard to disagree. You can read the entire article for yourself at CNN.com.

Usher Wants His Mommy

Dear Mama,

I know I cut you loose on Mother's Day as a "gift" to you, but I really need you now. You see, I thought that my wife could replace you. I thought that I was hot enough to make it on my own, but now that Lil' Wayne sold a million records in one week and I only sold 3 (did you buy the 3rd copy? Tameka bought the other two) I realize more than ever that I need you.

Mama please. I'm begging you. Jonnetta Patton you are the greatest Mother and Manager to ever walk the face of the earth. You made me a star. You created Usher the man and Usher the artist. I'm lost without you, mama. PLEASE!!! I'M SORRY MAMA...PLEASE!!!

Love Your Devoted Son,

Usher

p.s. I fired my publicist too. I really need you. Nobody can manage me like you can. Please.

---------------------

Dear Son,

I accept your apology. Keep Tameka out of my way. I'm not playing either. She's got one time to cross me and it's on, do you understand me son? Okay, now wipe your eyes and go wash your face. We have a lot of work to do.

Love,

Mom

p.s. No, I didn't buy the third copy. I read the reviews.

(Read the reunion news at People.com)

Obama Says McCain & Co. "Take pride in being ignorant"

You gotta love this. By now, you've heard the hoopla surrounding Barack Obama's statement that inflating tires will reduce oil consumption. And SURELY you've heard the Republican belly laugh over the sheer ridiculosity (yes, I made that word up) of Obama's "energy plan". Well, turns out, Obama didn't make that statement uninformed. According to his team of energy experts, the U.S. could save 3 to 4% in oil consumption if every American would maintain the proper tire pressure and get regular tune-ups.

Now, obviously this is not Obama's energy plan as the Republicans have tried to spin it. It was a response to a question that was asked while on the campaign trail. It's a practical, right-now solution that doesn't require a special Congressional session, legislation, nor Presidential approval. (Full article and video here).

McCain & Co. seem to find this solution very amusing. They would rather spend money making gag gifts to jab at Obama (tire gauges labeled "Obama's Energy Plan") than to get on board with something that will make a change right now. I wonder how much money they have spent on the tire gauge souvenirs? Wonder if an elderly couple could have paid their energy bill with that, or if a commuting mom could have refilled her minivan a few times with it.

In my mind, this just shows how out of touch McCain is with the American people. He is showing that he would be a President who would rather blow a few hundred or thousand dollars (or billion) to make an errant point than to be a good steward over the funds that the nation has trusted him with and do what's best for our people. Sounds eerily familiar doesn't it?

Morgan Freeman in "Driving Miss Meyer"

As you have probably already heard, actor Morgan Freeman was in a serious car accident in northern Mississippi and is in serious condition. Freeman, 71, had to be extracted from the car with the jaws of life. He was conscious and in good spirits during the rescue and is looking forward to a speedy recovery.

His passenger, Demaris Meyer - described as a mutual friend of Freeman and his business partner Bill Luckett - was released from the hospital Monday. The car, a 1997 Nissan Maxima, was hers. Seems Morgan was driving Miss Meyer somewhere around 11:30pm Sunday night, when he over corrected and the car went airborne, flipping several times, and landing right-side up in a ditch. Both were airlifted to a Memphis hospital. (full story here)

According to a CNN.com report, "My understanding of it is she was going to give him a ride home and she did not know the way, so he was going to drive the vehicle," Bill Rogers said. Rogers is a former police officer and sheriff's deputy and witness to the accident.

I sure hope this doesn't turn out to be scandalous. I'm giving this a "busted" label just for G.P.

Get well soon Morgan.

Obama's Tire Answer is Absolutely Right!

Sen. Obama was recently asked a question about reducing the US dependence on foreign oil. His response was that our country could become more energy efficient by inflating our car tires and getting regularly scheduled maintenance.

Needless to say, the Republicans are laughing this simple response under the table. They are broadcasting Obama's answer as foolish and another example of his incapability to lead the country as President. But, little did they know (how surprising), Mr. Obama is 100% correct.

According to a Time Magazine article:

The Bush Administration estimates that expanded offshore drilling could increase oil production by 200,000 bbl. per day by 2030. We use about 20 million bbl. per day, so that would meet about 1% of our demand two decades from now. Meanwhile, efficiency experts say that keeping tires inflated can improve gas mileage 3%, and regular maintenance can add another 4%. Many drivers already follow their advice, but if everyone did, we could immediately reduce demand several percentage points. In other words: Obama is right.

[Barack Obama actually suggested that inflating tires and tuning up cars] could save as much oil as new offshore drilling would produce. Gleeful Republicans have made this their daily talking point; Rush Limbaugh is having a field day; and the Republican National Committee is sending tire gauges labeled "Barack Obama's Energy Plan" to Washington reporters.

Republican governors Arnold Schwarzenegger of California and Charlie Crist of Florida have urged their constituents to do exactly what Sen. Obama has recommended. Apparently, they got their RNC tire gauges in the mail, but didn't get the joke.

It's Been a Long Time...

...sorry, it's been so long. Hopefully this makes up for it.

Keison Wilkins, a 33 year old man on trial for various charges including felonious assault, felon in possession of a weapon and firing a gun into a habitation was sentenced to 42 years in jail. But not without a week of crackpot drama, including the video above where Wilkins faked a heart attack to stall the proceedings.

(Spotted over at C&D)

Woman Dies in Emergency Room...Nobody Notices

For more than an hour, a woman lay on the floor in a hospital emergency room dying. She had been in the waiting area for more than 24 hours after she had been forcibly admitted to the psychiatric ward. Patients (psych unit patients mind you) sat just a few feet away, but seemed to not notice. Six staff members have been fired. Of course the New York City Health and Hospitals Corporation promises a thorough investigation. (Read full story on CNN.com)

We live in such a sad time. No regard for human life, but if that had been a dog, every person in the waiting room and every staff member on that floor would have been fired and arrested for cruelty to animals.

The end is near.

I Know You Miss Me

Okay, first of all, allow me to apologize for being so slack with the postings. I've been in somewhat of a transition from full time employee to self employed. I've been in meetings, building a website, designing business cards, etc. and the reality is starting to settle in that I don't have to go into the office everyday. I just realized that I can post all day from home if I want to, so I'll be back on the blog in a day or so. I'm still trying to establish some sort of a regular routine. Staying up until 4am and sleeping until noon is not a good look.

Anyway, while I get my schedule ironed out, feel free to check out my website. You may be surprised to find out that I'm not a complete lunatic...I just play one on TV.

BUSTED! Police Walk in on a Baton Rouge Man Trying to Have Sex with a Dog

If my nieces are reading this, turn off the computer and go play xbox or something for a few minutes.

For everyone else, (hang on, I'm putting on Atomic Dog as the background soundtrack to this story) here's what happened (I'll try to give the less graphic version. If you want all the details, click here):

While attempting to serve a warrant Wednesday, U.S. marshals stumbled upon a man having sex with one of his dogs in his backyard. Alex Chaney, a 46-year old sex offender, clad in only a white T-shirt and black slippers, was standing in front of a chair where a brown and white dog was standing, the affidavit says. Marshals observed Chaney try to [teach Fifi the Kama Sutra].

In his statement to deputies, Chaney said that he woke up that morning with the urge to have sex. He then made himself a cup of coffee before going into the backyard, where he began to think about having sex with animals.

Chaney was arrested and booked on a count of crimes against nature, booking documents show. Bond was set at $80,000.

The moral of the story: The urge to have sex combined with fresh brewed coffee could cost you $80,000.

There were so many jokes that I wanted to throw in, but in the interest of good taste I'll allow you to use your imagination. Watch the news VIDEO.

(Thx 4 the email LW)

Once You Go Barack...

This afternoon on the radio, I heard some rumblings about an offensive Barack Obama Assassination exhibit that was in New York across the street from the New York Times entrance. I did a little investigating and if you haven't heard or seen it here's what it's all about:

[On June 4th] A Boston-born performance artist, Yazmany Arboleda, tried to set up a provocative art exhibition in a vacant storefront on West 40th St. in Midtown Manhattan with the title, “The Assassination of Hillary Clinton/The Assassination of Barack Obama,” in neatly stenciled letters on the plate glass windows at street level. By 9:30 a.m., New York City police detectives and Secret Service agents had shut down the exhibition, and building workers had quickly covered over the inflammatory title with large sheets of brown paper and blue masking tape. The gallery is across the street from the southern entrance to The New York Times building.

Arboleda, who is 27, said in an interview: “It’s art. It’s not supposed to be harmful. It’s about character assassination — about how Obama and Hillary have been portrayed by the media.” He added, “It’s about the media.” “The exhibition is supposed to be about character assassination. It’s philosophical and metaphorical.” (source)

Check it out. What do you think about "art" imitating life?

The Assassination of Barack Obama

The Assassination of Hillary Clinton

New Orleans Man Arrested with Diaper Full of Heroin

Officers said they patted down Frank Keys Jr. and found he was wearing a diaper. When asked if there was anything in the diaper, officers said Keys nodded his head.

Okay, stop right there. The visual of this whole ordeal is cracking me up. So, if you were the officer, what would be your next course of action to investigate the dirty diaper?

a) sniff test b) touch test c) strip search

According to court documents, St. John Parish deputies near Laplace, La. stopped a white Hyundai Sonata for a moving violation and searched it with a K9 that gave a positive alert on the passenger side of the vehicle.

Police said they discovered 257 grams of heroin in Keys’ diaper. (source)

So the next time you overhear your cousins Terrell and Dayshawn volunteering to go to Wal-Mart to buy Granny some Depends, you'll know to go ahead and place a courtesy call to CrimeStoppers and collect your reward money.