I Just Got a Tweet from Kanye

...okay, not really. K.Wizzle is p.o.'d because his imposter is tweeting away and Twitter won't shut it down. Here's a little of what he had to say:

… WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I’M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. ... I’M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I’M NOT AND I’M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN’T TELL THE WORLD. ... THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON’T HAVE A **** TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT… THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN’T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT’S A **** FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW …. WHY? (here comes my favorite part)

… BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!

I love Ye's over the top, extra drama. Luv, luv, luv.

Jon & Kate + 8 - 1 x 15 yrs of child support + alimony = It's cheaper to keep her.

Talk about a bad decision. I don't care how bad it gets or how much you think you're in "different places", sometimes divorce is a very bad option. In the case of Octo-dad Jon Gosselin from the show "Jon & Kate Plus 8"...divorce will be very costly. He may want to re-evaluate his options.

(read full story here)

It's Been a Long Time...

...sorry, it's been so long. Hopefully this makes up for it.

Keison Wilkins, a 33 year old man on trial for various charges including felonious assault, felon in possession of a weapon and firing a gun into a habitation was sentenced to 42 years in jail. But not without a week of crackpot drama, including the video above where Wilkins faked a heart attack to stall the proceedings.

(Spotted over at C&D)

It's National Dump on Al Month!

Woohoo!!! Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day, National Day of Prayer, and Dump on Al Month?! May has officially overtaken my birth month, July, as my favorite month of the year. Thank you Lord for answering prayers.

Former Wall Street banker, professor, mobile-home dweller, and soon to be author Al Scales Reynolds is crying a river over the recent breakup of his marriage with his wife, Star Jones.

Both are claiming to take the high road, but Al has hit a low point and needed to vent a little via MySpace and Facebook. Here are a few excerpts that caused me to giggle:

I grew up in a working class home, a mobile home in fact. I understand the struggles of the working class. My mother was a teacher and my father was in the military. was given values, integrity and a strong moral upbringing (thanks mom and dad). In these hard economic times, I am working to take my knowledge and experience of the business world and use it to empower and enlighten working class Americans who are often 'left behind' by traditional financial advice. [sounds like Hillary Clinton doesn't he?]

What I want people to know is that I am not the caricature portrayed by the media. I am complex, contradictory and capable of great intelligence but also remarkable stupidity. In other words, I am a human being. [sounds like Robin Thicke "...I'm too complicated, she's not complicated...I wish I could change, I wish I could change, I wish I could stop placing the blame, ohhhh..."]

In my mind, it feels like "Dump on Al Month." And I'm not having fun yet. [suck it up Al...you were married to a celebrity and as a former Wall Street banker, one would assume that you have thicker skin than that]

I have been called a gigolo, a freeloader, unemployed, a sham and many other things that don't bear repeating. People on television, radio and the internet have spoken disparagingly of my life, my sexuality, my career and my integrity. [this is not new Al...they were saying that before you married her]

Anyway, this whole display of raw emotion is to brand Al as a marketable person of interest and phase one is to victimize him. Whether it brings sympathy or contempt doesn't matter. As long as we keep his name fresh, then his mission is accomplished and he profits off his alleged marriage and divorce.

Public Relations 101. Class dismissed.

While One Marriage Begins...Another One Ends

Not to be outdone by the quickie hush, hush nuptials of Jayonce`, it's been confirmed (sort of) from many sources (except Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey) that the couple did indeed wed in the Bahamas last week. People.com reports that Bishop Clifford Petty of the National Church of God in the Caribbean confirmed to PEOPLE that he presided over the wedding of Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Carey, 39, and Cannon, 27, obtained a marriage license on the Bahamian island of Eleuthera.

Many seem dubious of the whirlwind romance (and for the record, I don't really care).

"This is what Nick does; Nick is such a sucker for love," said a source close to Cannon. "He falls in love so quick."

Well, apparently so does Arnold Drummond.

...Insert a "whatchu talkin bout Willis?" right here....

What I'm talking bout is Gary Coleman's divorce after only 8 months to 22-year old bride Shannon Price. (read story)

The Colemans appeared on Divorce Court in two episodes last week. Judge Lynn Toler was on Tom Joyner and explained that she tried to reason with Coleman and get to the bottom of their issues, but he is still an angry guy over his handlers stealing his money back in the day, so he has fits of rage and throws temper tantrums.

Check out the video:

PETA Wants KY Derby Jockey Suspended

Can PETA please go sit down somewhere? Here's a recap of the events of the Kentucky Derby in case you haven't heard. Eight Belles, the filly who won second place, crossed the finish line and then collapsed on the track with both her front ankles broken. Because her injuries were so extensive, she had to be euthanized right on the track (read full story here)

Enter PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). According to SportsIllustrated.com:

PETA faxed a letter Sunday to Kentucky's racing authority claiming the filly was "doubtlessly injured before the finish" and asked that Saez [20-year old Panamanian jockey Gabriel Saez] be suspended while Eight Belles' death is investigated.

"What we really want to know, did he feel anything along the way?" PETA spokeswoman Kathy Guillermo said. "If he didn't then we can probably blame the fact that they're allowed to whip the horses mercilessly."

*sigh*

I would really be impressed with PETA if they were showing up in the hood, but you only see them during high profile, Hollywood type situations. Pets on the block are the ones really suffering. Why don't they come and fit all the 3 legged project dogs with prosthetics and donate big money to research to find a cure for mangy cats with hairballs? What about all the chickens running around at the car lot on Sherwood...is that ethical? Huh PETA?!

Juanita Bynum to Appear on Divorce Court

Why?

The Associated Press reports that Bynum, a prominent televangelist whose message of women's empowerment resonated with many followers, said she saw signs of trouble in her marriage well before the assault.

"I was just trying to make it work because I don't like losing relationships," Bynum told Judge Lynn Toler, who hears cases on the syndicated show distributed by Twentieth Television. "All of this just kept getting swept under the rug ... So you begin to adapt to a very wrong and very unhealthy marriage."

In episodes scheduled to air Thursday and Friday, Bynum also says she had thoughts of suicide and weighs in on a case involving domestic violence. When asked what advice she had for women in situations similar to hers, she said, "I have to make a decision ... to take the love that I had for him with me."

In a transcript of the show obtained by The Associated Press, Bynum said she would always love Weeks, but made a decision to "love me more." Bynum says in a two-part episode of "Divorce Court" that she's through with her marriage to minister Thomas W. Weeks III, who is on probation for assaulting her.

When asked on "Divorce Court" whether she and Weeks were planning a reconciliation, Bynum said she is "done." "I can't speak for him, but I no longer want the marriage," she said.

I told you there is something about that bubblegum pink lipstick she and rapper Foxy Brown wears. It has spirits in it or something.

The Pope was just in town. Nobody must've told him about this cause I'm sure he would have visited them or made a speech about it or something. Again I say, "Why?"

50 Cent Has Beef with Alicia Keys?

Before I even read the article, my initial reaction was "Curtis, go sit down somewhere."

Let me give you a little background on this story. If you haven't heard by now, a couple of weeks ago, Alicia Keys did an interview for Blender Magazine where some statements that were 'reportedly' made by her were spun into a little controversy. There's now this 'conspiracy theorist' label that the media is trying to stick to Keys based on the comments made in the article. To check out the interview as reported in Blender, click here.

Now on the contrary, Keys has gone on record trying to clarify some of the statements she made to Blender concerning the introduction of gangsta rap by the government to convince black people to kill each other, the symbolism of an AK47 pendant around her neck, and also concerning the murders of Biggie (Notorious B.I.G.) and Tupac Shakur. According to Alicia's follow-up interview with Tom Joyner (click here for the audio interview), she was having a conversation with the reporter and discussing a wide range of topics, and the reporter misinterpreted what she was saying and printed some stuff out of context. Okay, whatever. Here's her statement:

"My comments about gangsta rap were in no way trying to suggest that the government is responsible for creating this genre of rap music. The point that I was trying to make was that the term was over sloganized by some of the media causing reactions that were not always positive," she said. "Many of the gangsta rap lyrics articulate the problems of the artists' experiences and I think all of us, including our leaders, could be doing more to address these problems including drugs, gang violence, crime, and other related social issues," the statement added. As for the AK-47 remark, Keys said that AK-47 is a nickname given to her by friends "as an acronym for Alicia Keys and a metaphor for wowing people with my music and performances, killing 'em dead on stage. The reference was in no way meant to have a literal, political or negative connotation." However, Blender magazine is standing by its article.

Fast forward to Friday. Rapper 50 Cent, who has nothing better to do than try to keep his name 'don't like Alicia Keys no more' because of the Blender Magazine article. As if the world is gonna stop and listen to who Curtis Jackson doesn't like.

"I don't like Alicia Keys no more though … the same reason why I said that I don't like Oprah Winfrey," 50 Cent toldThe Showbuzz. "I'm prejudice(d). I don't like people who don't like me....I fall into that 'label' as far as you considering artists creating 'Gangsta music,' we fall into that. "If she don't like that, (then) I don't like that classical music s--- she be doing. At some point she's playing some s--- that don't relate to me.

If that ain't the dumbest mess I've ever heard. Read this foolishness for yourself.

Curtis, I really mean it. We don't care what you think. GO SIT DOWN!

Senator's Husband Admits Paying for Sex

Can somebody call T.D. Jakes and set up a church service at FedEx field in Maryland? Invite all the congressmen, governors, mayors, senators, and cabinet members, in addition to pastors, evangelists, ministers, deacons, and choir directors for the express purpose of having a mass altar call. Can everybody just show up on the same day, admit to their sexual escapades, apologize to their spouses, repent to the Lord, and just move on?

So another political leader gets bitten by sex for hire, but this time it's the elected official's husband who was the customer. Sen. Debbie Stabenow's husband told authorities that he paid $150 for a prostitute. After getting caught up in a stake out at the Residence Inn in Troy, MI, Thomas Athans admitted to the police officer who stopped him "that he had just met a female at the Residence Inn, where he paid $150 for sex."

The doors of the church are open. Is there one?

Hillary Clinton = Rocky 2K8

If she was of a darker persuasion I would say - negro please! Okay Hillary, you are really starting to sound like a joke. She has actually come out with a new analogy of herself since the Bosnia/sniper fire/G.I. Jane thing didn't work, now she has moved on to another real American hero...Rockyyyyy Balboaaaaa (can't you hear the announcer's voice? lol!). So does that make Barak Obama the new Apollo Creed?

The AP reports that Sen. Hillary "Never Let 'Em Catch You In A Lie" Clinton feels that she and Rocky are kindred spirits. Recalling a famous scene on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art from the 1976 Oscar-winning film "Rocky," Clinton said that ending her presidential campaign now would be as if "Rocky Balboa had gotten halfway up those art museum steps and said, 'Well, I guess that's about far enough.'"

"Let me tell you something, when it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up..."

You just have to think that at 12:01 tonight, she's gonna have a press conference with Bill and Chelsea by her side and with a big grin throw up her hands and say...APRIL FOOLS!

Hillary, GO SIT DOWN!