Wonderbras Unite!

After the scandal that erupted over Miss California, Carrie Prejean's choice to stand by her convictions during the Miss America pagent and the subsequent photos of her that were "leaked" to the media, Miss California has pledged that "from this day forward I promise I will use my naked breasts for good." (source)

As will I Carrie. As will I.

*a single tear fell*

He Has Risen...He is Not Dead!

Jesus' body has been found. After the Lord went missing from the side of a Detroit church on Monday, he was spotted on Wednesday, in the bushes in an alley a couple of blocks away from the church.

Funny parallel. According to the Easter teachings, Jesus was buried on Friday and resurrected a couple of days later. Mary Magdalene "discovered" him in the garden (at first she thought he was the gardener). In Detroit, a church member noticed the 'body' [statue] of Jesus was missing on Monday and a couple of days later it was found in the bushes [or a 'garden' in the alley]. Hmmm...I guess these are the last days.

Still no word on the thieves. It's okay. Jesus will drop a dime on 'em sooner or later...He's already on the mainline. (CNN.com story)

Chivalry is Dead

Raw video footage:


This is really a messed up story. A 78-year old man got hit by a car in broad daylight. The driver never stopped, nor did anyone else. Reportedly four people called 911, but the police cruiser that showed up on the scene just happened to be driving down the street. When he saw the man lying in the street he stopped and called for an emergency dispatch.

My first thought after watching the clip was of the biblical account of the good Samaritan. Jesus told the story of a man had been robbed and beat up and left on the side of the road for dead. Several people passed by him, including a priest, but none stopped to help until the good Samaritan came along. Why do I mention that? Well, because Jesus told this story over 2000 years ago. This lets me know that insensitivity to humanity is not new. It's just that now we have sophisticated technology that displays it to the world in the blink of an eye. It's hard to see the true nature of some people.

The man is now in the hospital in critical condition, paralyzed from the waist down.

Let me say this again...Nobody helped. Read the full story here.

God is love.

Jesus Needs to Start Packing Pepper Spray

In the words of Mary Magdeline as she discovered Jesus' body missing from the tomb, "Sir, where have you taken him?! Where have you taken my lord?!"

You know times are really hard when people steal from the church, right? Well Jesus must be coming back tomorrow cause somebody decided that they needed to steal his body right off the cross on the side of a church. Yep, an 8 foot version of Jesus was stolen and there are no witnesses. (read story on CNN.com)

Allow me to ponder for a moment. Imagine that you are sitting around with a few friends. Maybe drinking a little. Maybe indulging in an herbal remedy. And let's say you or one of your friends has a bright idea. "Hey, let's go down to the Church of the Messiah and snatch Jesus' body and hold it for ransom." Everyone makes eye contact, then silently nods "yes" in unison.

Are you still with me? Okay, so now you've found a ladder and a pickup truck. You proceed over to the church and begin to snatch the Lord's image off the side of the building and load it into the back of the truck. Now what do you do with this 8 foot tall faux-copper statue of Jesus? You hang out with him like those kids do on the Quaker Oats commercials! Play tug of war, and go fishing and stuff. You're bound to win if he's on your team, right?

People have too much time on their hands.

Who Knew that Catholic Priests Cussed in Church?

I would have turned Catholic long ago if I would have known that they cuss and get you out of church in 20 minutes! I'm just playing, but seriously, Rev. Michael Pfleger delivered a sermon at Barack Obama's church (Trinity United Church of Christ) in Chicago on Sunday and boy, did he have a lot on his mind! They must have some "make you act a fool" mist that they spray on that microphone.

Pfleger is a Catholic priest at predominately black St. Sabina Roman Catholic Church on Chicago's southwest side. Commenting on the campaign, Pfleger very candidly spoke on the subject of 'white entitlement', using Sen. Hillary Clinton as his example. He said Clinton's eyes welled with tears before the New Hampshire primary because she felt "entitled" to the Democratic nomination and because "there's a black man stealing my show." He then went on to parody Clinton, sobbing and wiping his face with a handkerchief.

"She wasn't the only one crying," he said. "There was a whole lot of white people crying." (source)

What will be interesting is to see how the media handles this as opposed to the handling of Rev. Wright. Why? Because Pfleger is white and Wright is black. They referred to Wright in headlines as a 'preacher', never as Dr. Wright. I wonder if they will take the same tone of belittling and disrespect with Father Pfleger and if they will set out to personally attack him like they did Wright. Just watch and listen.

Watch the video below for yourself.


Of course, you know the rest - Clinton denounced. Obama condemned. Pfleger apologized.

I predict Obama will make his exodus from Trinity in 5...4...3...2...

Appeals Court Rules Polygamy Raid Was Illegal

I'm not surprised at all...and I completely agree. I believe that there were significant holes in the whole case and some things didn't make sense to me in the first place.

1). There was a cell phone call from a 16 year old reporting abuse. Okay, again I ask the question how did a child get access to a cell phone inside a camp with no access to the outside world and where did she get a phone number to call directly to the reported hotline?

2). An early report stated that there was a government agent who had been planted into the sect for something like 4 years. This fact was never discussed again in later reports. If there was in insider, why did the government wait four years to take action?

3). How is it legal for a law enforcement agency to raid a "neighborhood" or "gated community" because a 16 year old makes a telephone call alleging abuse? Think about it. If a 16 year old in your neighborhood called police and said she was being abused and so were many of the other children on her street, would the police block your street off and start loading your kids up on buses? No. They would have to come in and do a house-by-house investigation and prove misconduct. Furthermore, they would need a warrant in order to seize and remove your children, right?

Anyway, this mess is stinking. The appeals court has ruled that the Texas Child Protective Services overstepped their boundaries and according to CNN.com, they have 10 days to vacate an order placing the children in state custody (I'm not exactly sure what that means). They completely violated the parental rights and took a "moral" stance against FLDS. This whole thing had nothing to do with the children's rights or safety. It was about taking down another "cult" by whatever means necessary and violating freedom to practice whatever religion one chooses.

Thank God the FLDS didn't decide to stand off. There would have been unnecessary bloodshed and Waco all over again at the hands of an overzealous government.

God Bless America.

I'm Not A Monster...I Just Play One on TV

Incestuous daddy grandpa Josef Fritzl is not happy about his new found infamy.

Fritzl's lawyer, Rudolf Mayer, said his client had access to a television in jail and was closely watching coverage of his case, which has garnered worldwide attention.

Mayer said Fritzl was bothered by the fact that he was being made out to be a monster. He said Fritzl told him, "I'm only being portrayed as a monster and not as someone who committed monstrous acts."

Huh? Could you repeat that last part?

"I'm only being portrayed as a monster and not as someone who committed monstrous acts."

Okay Josef (with an 'F'), maybe you thought you were watching a Lifetime movie. You saw the same dude on TV that we're seeing and that guy is YOU! It's not a portrayal, it's a presentation of the facts. That's like a rapist saying "I'm only being portrayed as a rapist and not as someone who committed rape."

Since you seem to be having an identity crisis, let's try this:

monster - Pronunciation: \ˈmän(t)-stər\
Function: noun
1 a: an animal or plant of abnormal form or structure b: one who deviates from normal or acceptable behavior or character

2: a threatening force

3 a: an animal of strange or terrifying shape b: one unusually large for its kind

4: something monstrous; especially : a person of unnatural or extreme ugliness, deformity, wickedness,or cruelty

5: one that is highly successful

Let me give you a quick 4-point argument that supports the monster definition:

~ First of all playa, you had 7 children by your own daughter. (See definition #1 & 2)

~ Secondly, you kept her and the kids locked in an underground dungeon for 24 years. (See definition #1, 2, 4, & 5)

~ Thirdly, have you seen your mug shot? A picture's worth a thousand words. You have an eerie resemblance to the Grinch and he's the meanest guy we know. (See definition #1, 2, 3 & 4)

~ Fourth, you put paper stars on the walls in the dungeon. What kind of cruel person puts paper stars on the walls?! That's just sick man...sick! Those kids had never even seen real stars before or sunlight for that matter! (See definition #4)

Okay, so maybe I only had 3 valid points. I threw the last one in there just for dramatic effect. I was on a roll. Forgive me, though it was true, that was not a good point.

Anyway, the investigation continues in this case that has grabbed headlines around the world.


Oh, and by the way, Fritzl has not yet been charged. (source)



Happy hump day.

Jesus Take the Wheel

Who knew Jesus was living in New Mexico? I guess it makes sense though. NM is kind of a dry, desert place like Jerusalem, so I get why he would choose to live there as opposed to someplace like south Louisiana where the 100% humidity might cause his hair to frizz up.

Apparently he and the pope aren't on speaking terms these days. I don't remember them sitting down to break bread while the pontiff was in town recently. I wonder what that's all about. So many unanswered questions...

I have to admit that I'm a little bit annoyed that he didn't make himself known before now. I just hope he's registered to vote or better yet, I hope he's a super delegate. An endorsement from Jesus could go a long way for the Obama campaign.

CNN reports that the leader of an apocalyptic New Mexico church who claims to be the Messiah was arrested Tuesday on sex charges. Wayne Bent, who also goes by the name Michael Travesser, was arrested at the compound that is home to his Lord Our Righteousness Church, called Strong City by members. Bent said on the Web site that God revealed to him in 2000 that he is the Messiah.

Bent has acknowledged having sex with his followers, but authorities will not divulge who the alleged victims are. The Lord Our Righteousness Church is to be featured Wednesday on a National Geographic Channel program, "Inside the Cult." In a video clip of the show posted on the channel's Web site, Bent and some young women followers admit the young women lay with him while naked, but deny sex took place. [same defense Micheal Jackson used...apparently it works]

"It was God," Bent said in the video clip. "God came down on them and told them to do it."

[Dear God, please come down on all my bill collectors and tell them to zero out my balances and send me refund checks. Thank you. Amen.]

Bent had predicted the world would end October 31, 2007.

I predict that he'll be showering with frankincense and myrrh soap on a rope, and teaching bible study in an orange jumpsuit and flip flops in the penitentiary in 2008.

Juanita Bynum to Appear on Divorce Court

Why?

The Associated Press reports that Bynum, a prominent televangelist whose message of women's empowerment resonated with many followers, said she saw signs of trouble in her marriage well before the assault.

"I was just trying to make it work because I don't like losing relationships," Bynum told Judge Lynn Toler, who hears cases on the syndicated show distributed by Twentieth Television. "All of this just kept getting swept under the rug ... So you begin to adapt to a very wrong and very unhealthy marriage."

In episodes scheduled to air Thursday and Friday, Bynum also says she had thoughts of suicide and weighs in on a case involving domestic violence. When asked what advice she had for women in situations similar to hers, she said, "I have to make a decision ... to take the love that I had for him with me."

In a transcript of the show obtained by The Associated Press, Bynum said she would always love Weeks, but made a decision to "love me more." Bynum says in a two-part episode of "Divorce Court" that she's through with her marriage to minister Thomas W. Weeks III, who is on probation for assaulting her.

When asked on "Divorce Court" whether she and Weeks were planning a reconciliation, Bynum said she is "done." "I can't speak for him, but I no longer want the marriage," she said.

I told you there is something about that bubblegum pink lipstick she and rapper Foxy Brown wears. It has spirits in it or something.

The Pope was just in town. Nobody must've told him about this cause I'm sure he would have visited them or made a speech about it or something. Again I say, "Why?"

Ladies and Gentlemen...Put Your Hands Together for The Pope!!!

...screaming, roaring crowd...shouts...cheers...tears...

music is booming thru the speakers...the tune sounds very familiar but doesn't seem too religious...wait, I know that voice *listening*

"P.O.P.E.B.E.N.E.D.C.T do you know what that means? P.O.P.E.B.E.N.E.D.C.T do you know what that means? He got his own house. He got his own car. Pray hard all day. Talking to God. You see the Pope (bow down), you see the Pope (bow down), you see the Pope (bow down), you see the Pope (bow down)."

OMG!!! It's Lil' Boosie hyping it up for the Pope! Spelling his name wrong and everything! This crowd is crazy...I need to be selling t-shirts!

LOL!! Okay, enough foolishness. Everybody knows by now that the Pope is a rockstar. He's in D.C. today doing a huge mass. 46,000 worshippers filled Washington Nationals stadium on a clear spring day and cheered Benedict as he arrived in a white popemobile, standing in the back and waving.

Pope Benedict XVI covered some tough issues in his address. He praised America as a land of opportunity and hope Thursday as he celebrated the first public Mass of his U.S. pilgrimage, but he lamented that the nation's promise fell short for Indians and blacks.

He turned to the clergy sex abuse scandal that rocked the American church, saying "no words of mine could describe the pain and harm inflicted by such abuse." He called for healing and reconciliation and assistance to the victims.

In an address to U.S. bishops Wednesday night at the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, Benedict called the scandal a "deep shame." He decried the "enormous pain" that communities have suffered from such "gravely immoral behavior." He also said the problem needs to be viewed in the wider context of secularism and the over-sexualization of America, and called for "a determined, collective response."

You tell 'em Benny.

Villagers in India Worship Baby Born with 2 Faces

You can read the full story if you want to. I know you just wanted to see the pictures.

Sushma, left, and Vinod Singh pose with their daughter Lali at their residence in India. Lali was born with two faces on March 11. Her father says she is doing well and villagers are worshipping her as the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess.
Lali has a rare condition called craniofacial duplication. She has two noses, two sets of lips and two sets of eyes. "She drinks milk from her two mouths and opens and shuts all the four eyes at one time," said the director at the hospital where the baby was born.
Rural India is deeply superstitious and the little girl is being hailed as a return of the Hindu goddess of valor, Durga, a fiery deity traditionally depicted with three eyes and many arms.

All photos by Gurinder Osan, AP

Senator's Husband Admits Paying for Sex

Can somebody call T.D. Jakes and set up a church service at FedEx field in Maryland? Invite all the congressmen, governors, mayors, senators, and cabinet members, in addition to pastors, evangelists, ministers, deacons, and choir directors for the express purpose of having a mass altar call. Can everybody just show up on the same day, admit to their sexual escapades, apologize to their spouses, repent to the Lord, and just move on?

So another political leader gets bitten by sex for hire, but this time it's the elected official's husband who was the customer. Sen. Debbie Stabenow's husband told authorities that he paid $150 for a prostitute. After getting caught up in a stake out at the Residence Inn in Troy, MI, Thomas Athans admitted to the police officer who stopped him "that he had just met a female at the Residence Inn, where he paid $150 for sex."

The doors of the church are open. Is there one?