What's in a Name Corey Blount?

You just can't make this stuff up. Just keep reading the news and the jokes write themselves.

Former first round draft pick and Chicago Bulls player Corey Blount was sentenced to a year on possession charges after being caught with 29 pounds of mary jane. Now I'm far from an authority on recreational cannibus use, but I'm pretty sure 29 lbs is more than enough to get you thru those back spasms.

Who knew that his gubment name would be his downfall.

(source)

It's Been a Long Time...

...sorry, it's been so long. Hopefully this makes up for it.

Keison Wilkins, a 33 year old man on trial for various charges including felonious assault, felon in possession of a weapon and firing a gun into a habitation was sentenced to 42 years in jail. But not without a week of crackpot drama, including the video above where Wilkins faked a heart attack to stall the proceedings.

(Spotted over at C&D)

I Saw You (and Him) Walking in the Rain...

...well, actually, it was more like a shower...a GOLDEN shower.

Uh oh! Things are not looking too good for Aruh Kelly. Another witness has identified Kells as the male in the infamous sex tape. R. Kelly's former personal assistant, Lindsey Perryman testified Tuesday that she was 110 percent sure it was him on the tape. [What was the extra 10% for? I'm in a movie and I'm not even sure if I'm looking at myself in one of the scenes. I think it's me, but I can't say that I'm 110 percent sure and I've been looking at myself for 33 years.] Perryman worked for Kelly and his family off and on from 2000 to 2007.

"The image I saw looked exactly like Mr. Kelly," Perryman said, adding she was "shocked" and "disturbed" by the video.

Perryman said she saw the alleged victim numerous times, including when she would come to Kelly's Chicago music studio. She recognized the girl as the one in the video by her cheekbones, as well as by the "distinctive" way she moved her mouth, smiled and talked, she told jurors.

Tjada Burnett, a family friend of the alleged victim, was more certain, saying she recognized the female by her "cheeks, her nose, her facial structure," and said she could have been about 12 or 13 years old at the time the tape was made. (full story)

Sounds like Kelly needs to start taking applications at the county for a Hair Braider. Methinks he'll be spending a little time in the pokey real soon.

When it rains, it pours.