What's in a Name Corey Blount?

You just can't make this stuff up. Just keep reading the news and the jokes write themselves.

Former first round draft pick and Chicago Bulls player Corey Blount was sentenced to a year on possession charges after being caught with 29 pounds of mary jane. Now I'm far from an authority on recreational cannibus use, but I'm pretty sure 29 lbs is more than enough to get you thru those back spasms.

Who knew that his gubment name would be his downfall.

(source)

John Edwards Admits It

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another politician had an affair...blah, blah, blah. That's not the real news.

The part that I'm astonished about is that the National Enquirer broke the story back in October. That's ten months ago! So you mean to tell me that the National Enquirer has been right all these years? There really are aliens running a bar and grill in El Segundo? Elvis really lives at Neverland Ranch? The brown cow with two heads that is being raised on Bush's ranch in Crawford, Tx is the sole producer of organic chocolate milk with a natural enzyme that can allow it to be used as a fuel substitute?

We've been hookwinked! Bamboozled! The National Enquirer should demand a national apology for all the years of ridicule and glances of disgust it has endured at the checkout counters in grocery stores across America.

John Edwards was busted with his mistress Rielle Hunter a long time ago and because it was the Enquirer, no one realized the story was credible. Now Ms. Hunter is either Edwards' or a campaign aide's (Andrew Young, who is also married w/children) baby mama.

He [Edwards] said he has not taken a paternity test but that the timing of the affair rules out the possibility that he could be the father of Hunter's 5-month-old child (CNN.com article). Not because he used a condom or she was on birth control, but because of the timing. Wow. And you wonder why STDs are at an epidemic among teens. How can you expect a 15 year old to be responsible if presidential candidates are too dumb to use protection?

I guess Hillary just got bumped up a notch on the possible Democratic VP list.

Morgan Freeman in "Driving Miss Meyer"

As you have probably already heard, actor Morgan Freeman was in a serious car accident in northern Mississippi and is in serious condition. Freeman, 71, had to be extracted from the car with the jaws of life. He was conscious and in good spirits during the rescue and is looking forward to a speedy recovery.

His passenger, Demaris Meyer - described as a mutual friend of Freeman and his business partner Bill Luckett - was released from the hospital Monday. The car, a 1997 Nissan Maxima, was hers. Seems Morgan was driving Miss Meyer somewhere around 11:30pm Sunday night, when he over corrected and the car went airborne, flipping several times, and landing right-side up in a ditch. Both were airlifted to a Memphis hospital. (full story here)

According to a CNN.com report, "My understanding of it is she was going to give him a ride home and she did not know the way, so he was going to drive the vehicle," Bill Rogers said. Rogers is a former police officer and sheriff's deputy and witness to the accident.

I sure hope this doesn't turn out to be scandalous. I'm giving this a "busted" label just for G.P.

Get well soon Morgan.

O.J.'s "Alleged" Confession

Okay. I was really trying to resist the urge to write about this. I really was, but as I was reading the article, so many things jumped out at me.

A memorabilia dealer who profited from O.J. Simpson for many years has written a tell-all book, one alleging that a groggy Simpson, high on marijuana, confessed to killing his ex-wife after he was acquitted.

Mike Gilbert also claims that he helped his former friend wiggle out of the murder charges by suggesting how to bloat his hands so they wouldn't fit the notorious bloody gloves...he counseled the jailed Simpson during his murder trial to stop taking his arthritis medicine so his hands would swell up and not fit the bloody gloves in court.

So, at first he said that OJ confessed after the trial, then he says that he helped him swell up so the gloves wouldn't fit which would indicate some sort of admission of guilt before the trial was finished right?

Okay, well here's another twist:

According to Gilbert, Simpson said he went to his ex-wife's condominium but did not bring a knife with him. Simpson told him Nicole Brown Simpson had one in her hand when she opened the door. In a soft mumble, Simpson told him: "If she hadn't opened that door with a knife in her hand ... she'd still be alive."

If that were true, why would OJ have been wearing gloves in the first place?

Anyway, you can read the whole article if you want to. The obvious contradictions were just too much for me to ignore. Not interested in wasting any more of my time on it. Have a great day.

75 Students Arrested in Drug Sting at San Diego State

I've said it before and I'll say it again: STOP TEXTING!!!

Before going to Las Vegas for the weekend, fraternity members involved in the sale of drugs sent text messages to their customers, saying, "We're going to close out our inventory," and inviting them to "buy the cocaine at discounted prices," Damon Mosler, chief of the narcotics division for the San Diego County District Attorney's Office said. After the weekend, they sent another text message saying they were back and ready to do business, Mosler said.

LOL!!! What were they doing, having a spring clearance sale? Rolling back prices like WalMart. You gotta give 'em points for good customer service though.

"They weren't picky about who they sold to," he said, alleging that undercover officers would simply call them and say, " 'Hey, I heard you deal. Will you sell to me?' ...."And they did."

[Their service rating keeps going up. They treat every customer equally. Non-discriminatory. Customer friendly. You just can't get that quality of service everywhere.]

About 100 people, including students majoring in homeland security and criminal justice, were arrested Tuesday in an undercover drug sting at San Diego State University, officials said. Among those arrested, 75 were
students, one of them a criminal justice major charged with possession of guns and cocaine, authorities said. One student allegedly dealing cocaine was a month short of obtaining a master's degree in homeland security at the California school and worked under campus police as a student community service officer. Campus police initiated the investigation about a year ago after a fatal overdose on campus. Five months ago the school solicited the DEA's help.

Mosler described the students as "mid-level distributors"
who were selling more than a person might buy for personal use.

And they say the education system is failing.

(read full story here)

Yeah, I'll Take That In Small Bills Please.

A 21-year old Ft. Worth, Texas man was arrested trying to cash a $360 BILLION dollar check. That is not a typo...I said a $360,000,000,000.00 - wait...wait - CHECK!


This fool wrote HIMSELF a stolen check for $360B so he could start a record label! I'm too through.

Police arrested Charles Fuller last week when bank tellers noticed the ridiculously large amount and called the woman whose name was on the check. Police said they found 2 ounces of marijuana and a gun in his pockets when they arrested him, so he also faces charges for unlawfully carrying a weapon and possession of marijuana.

Click here to watch news footage.

Detriot Mayor Indicted on 12 Charges

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his undercover text lover, former Chief of Staff Christine Beatty, were both indicted on 12 charges including perjury. (story)

You know, I've always felt a connection to Kwame Kilpatrick. My brother's name is also Kwamee, but with two e's. His mama's name is Carolyn, and my mama's name is Carolyn too....but, I guess that's where the similarities stop. My brother Kwamee doesn't text. As a matter of fact, you're doing good if he talks to you on the phone for 5 minutes. Maybe it's the extra 'e' in his name that keeps my brother Kwamee so grounded. My brother Kwamee is famous for his inspiring speeches that set people on the right track. Maybe Kwamee should have talked to Kwame about the dangers of text messaging before he got caught up with Christine. Now it's too late...they're busted.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of text messaging. Even my mama is a text messager. Actually, she's way ahead of me in text language (shorthand/abbreviations). I'm stealing her abbreviations everyday. She cracks me up. One day I was sharing with her about the global hits that I've been getting on the blog. Her excited response via text was that she was famous. Then referring to a post I did about my grandmother, she text'd "o snap im not wear n fishnets" ...lol! (ok, so maybe it's only funny to me that my mom said "o snap")...i digress

I love the cell phone carrier commercials where the young girl and the grandma talk in text, and the mom is frustrated trying to communicate with them (in one commercial the mom takes the phone away from grandma and grandma responds "O N U D!" [...oh, no you didn't!]). Text messaging is meant for convenient, quick communication, not for getting people indicted and losing their jobs. *sighs* Kwame, Kwame, Kwame...we had such high hopes for you.

This is my last and final warning. Ya'll better start picking up the phone and talking before you get KK'd (KK=Kwame Kilpatrick'd: busted sending text messages that you wouldn't ever want anybody to read). And PLEASE don't do it on the company phone. WTH? ONUD!