Friday, May 30, 2008

50 Cent's Crib is Up In Smoke


Rapper 50 Cent's NY house went up in flames last night according to reports on TMZ.com. The fire broke out at the six bedroom, five bath house in Dix Hills, NY around 5:00 AM. Six people, including the rapper's ex Shaniqua Tompkins and their 10-year-old son Marquise, were in the house. They all were transported to the hospital and treated for smoke inhalation. Fire investigators are calling the blaze "very suspicious".

Suspect #1 - Fiddy's baby mama Shaniqua Tompkins.
The house has been the subject of a bitter dispute between Fiddy, whose real name is Curtis Jackson, and Tompkins. The rapper reportedly bought the home -- one of the biggest cribs in the area -- for a cool $2.4 mil in January 2007. In April he tried to evict Tompkins and Marquise (his son) from the house, demanding she pay him $4,500 a month in rent.

On April 17 in Supreme Court in Manhattan, Tompkins filed suit claiming "breach of contract," alleging that the rapper had promised to put all or part of the house in her name. The court sided with 50, and Shaniqua was given until the end of the school year to pack up. On Monday afternoon, the two are seen screaming and cursing at each other on a NYC street...things get so heated Fiddy had to be held back!

Just this morning, 50 Cent's house in Long Island was burnt to a crisp.

Suspect #2 - "Someone"
Shaniqua Tompkins, tells TMZ that she heard "someone" come into the house this morning at 4 AM, shortly before the fire broke out around an hour later. Shaniqua's lawyer, tells TMZ that his client is "traumatized" by the fire and that the kids are similarly in total shock.

Suspect #3 - 50 Cent (or a Fire for Hire)
Shaniqua Tompkins, Fiddy's baby mama, went NUTS this morning, suggesting the rapper had something to do with the blaze. She alleges that he tried to kill her, that he's obsessed with her. Informed this morning while filming a new motion picture on location in Louisiana, Curtis Jackson expressed deep concern over this fire at his property. He is extremely thankful that everyone including his son, Marquise, escaped the burning house safely. He is confident that authorities will be conducting a thorough investigation of the incident and is eager to review their findings.
"Any suggestion that Mr. Jackson had anything whatsoever to do with the fire at his home is outrageous and offensive" his attorney said.

Stay tuned as the drama unfolds!

Side Note:
The house that burned was the house his baby mama and son (and apparently 4 other people) lived in. Fiddy lives in a house that was formerly Mike Tyson's.

Who Knew that Catholic Priests Cussed in Church?

I would have turned Catholic long ago if I would have known that they cuss and get you out of church in 20 minutes! I'm just playing, but seriously, Rev. Michael Pfleger delivered a sermon at Barack Obama's church (Trinity United Church of Christ) in Chicago on Sunday and boy, did he have a lot on his mind! They must have some "make you act a fool" mist that they spray on that microphone.

Pfleger is a Catholic priest at predominately black St. Sabina Roman Catholic Church on Chicago's southwest side. Commenting on the campaign, Pfleger very candidly spoke on the subject of 'white entitlement', using Sen. Hillary Clinton as his example. He said Clinton's eyes welled with tears before the New Hampshire primary because she felt "entitled" to the Democratic nomination and because "there's a black man stealing my show." He then went on to parody Clinton, sobbing and wiping his face with a handkerchief.

"She wasn't the only one crying," he said. "There was a whole lot of white people crying." (source)

What will be interesting is to see how the media handles this as opposed to the handling of Rev. Wright. Why? Because Pfleger is white and Wright is black. They referred to Wright in headlines as a 'preacher', never as Dr. Wright. I wonder if they will take the same tone of belittling and disrespect with Father Pfleger and if they will set out to personally attack him like they did Wright. Just watch and listen.

Watch the video below for yourself.


Of course, you know the rest - Clinton denounced. Obama condemned. Pfleger apologized.

I predict Obama will make his exodus from Trinity in 5...4...3...2...

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Keith Olbermann Commentary on Bush Legacy

Take 12 minutes out of your busy schedule and check this out. Post comments.


Death Row Records to be Sold Off at Auction

QUICK! Let's pool our money together!

Seriously. TMZ.com is reporting that a judge has ordered Suge Knight's pride and joy be sold off to settle his bankruptcy debt. The bidding will start at $24 mil on June 26th and will include the rights to recordings by Tupac, Snoop, & Dr. Dre.

Wow. That's a serious investment for whomever wins the bid. Remember when Michael Jackson purchased The Beatles catalog for something like $50M (I think, don't quote me on that). Anyway, it ended up being a life saver after he got in financial hot water. He was able to use it as serious collateral.

Anybody got $23,999,872.38 I can borrow?

Sean Levert Died of Natural Causes

The coroner's report has just been released on the cause of R&B singer Sean Levert's death.

County Coroner Frank Miller said Levert died from complications of sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in body's organs. The coroner said Levert also suffered from other conditions, including cardiovascular disease and withdrawal from alprazolam -- a drug used to treat anxiety disorders and panic attacks.

After Levert died, jail warden Kevin McDonough said he had been sick and guards were watching him because he had been acting strangely. When he started pounding on his cell door, guards strapped him in a restraint chair, McDonough said. Levert's breathing became shallow and he was taken to the hospital. (
source)


The 39 year old son of legendary O'Jay member Eddie Levert and brother of the late Gerald Levert was serving a 22-month sentence for failure to pay child support. No comments have been made by the family concerning the coroner's report.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

W.W.J.D.?

What Would Jada [and Will] Do? Well, accorinding to Will Smith, they would work it out. On an appearance on the Ellen Degeneres Show, Will Smith gave the key to the couple's successful 10-year Hollywood marriage to which Ellen was amazed saying, "It's like dog years when you're married here," she said. "That's like 50 years, right?"

What I found is divorce just can't be an option," he said. "It's really that simple. And I think that's the problem with L.A. -- there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for [Jada] and I is that we just removed the other options."

Smith went on to say, "We're like listen, we're going to be together one way or the other so we might as well try to be happy." (source)

I think my make-believe husband Al Green said it best "Let's stay together...whether times are good or bad, happy or sad..."(did I ever tell you that I have a crush on Al Green? Okay, well that's a post for another time).

Now, if the D-word was removed from your marital vocabulary, how would it change the way you handle situations? Give me some feedback.

Former White House Insider Spills the Beans on Bush

Well, well, well. We all know that a house divided against itself cannot stand, so what happens to the White House, when the roosters start crowing? One such rooster is former White House press secretary Scott McClellan. He was the former spokesman for Bush when he was governor of Texas, was named White House press secretary in 2003, and had previously been a deputy press secretary and was the traveling spokesman for the Bush campaign during the 2000 election and resigned from the White House in 2006, so he has had extensive opportunity to observe and listen.

In his new book, scheduled to go on sale June 1, entitled "What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception," McClellan drops a dime on how the White House has used the media to deceive and manipulate public opinion.

McClellan draws a portrait of his former boss [Bush] as smart, charming and politically skilled, but unwilling to admit mistakes and susceptible to his own spin. Bush "convinces himself to believe what suits his needs at the moment." (source)

McClellan covers some of the current Administration's major misses, such as Iraq and Katrina, saying the White House "spent most of the first week [after Katrina] in a state of denial...One of the worst disasters in our nation's history became one of the biggest disasters in Bush's presidency," he wrote. "Katrina and the botched federal response to it would largely come to define Bush's second term." He also wrote, "The Iraq war was not necessary."

Needless to say, the White House faithful are scrambling to throw doubt, calling McClellan "self-serving, disingenuous, and unprofessional" and "disgruntled."
Former White House adviser Karl Rove said on Fox News Tuesday that the excerpts from the book he's read sound more like they were written by a "left-wing logger" than his former colleague. (source)

[And that my friends is how you know Mr. McClellan must be telling the truth. The End.]

I Saw You (and Him) Walking in the Rain...

...well, actually, it was more like a shower...a GOLDEN shower.

Uh oh! Things are not looking too good for Aruh Kelly. Another witness has identified Kells as the male in the infamous sex tape. R. Kelly's former personal assistant, Lindsey Perryman testified Tuesday that she was 110 percent sure it was him on the tape. [What was the extra 10% for? I'm in a movie and I'm not even sure if I'm looking at myself in one of the scenes. I think it's me, but I can't say that I'm 110 percent sure and I've been looking at myself for 33 years.] Perryman worked for Kelly and his family off and on from 2000 to 2007.

"The image I saw looked exactly like Mr. Kelly," Perryman said, adding she was "shocked" and "disturbed" by the video.

Perryman said she saw the alleged victim numerous times, including when she would come to Kelly's Chicago music studio. She recognized the girl as the one in the video by her cheekbones, as well as by the "distinctive" way she moved her mouth, smiled and talked, she told jurors.

Tjada Burnett, a family friend of the alleged victim, was more certain, saying she recognized the female by her "cheeks, her nose, her facial structure," and said she could have been about 12 or 13 years old at the time the tape was made. (
full story)

Sounds like Kelly needs to start taking applications at the county for a Hair Braider. Methinks he'll be spending a little time in the pokey real soon.

When it rains, it pours.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

NY Gov. Paterson Gives Slick Rick a Full Pardon

Rapper Slick Rick, known for the hip-hop classics "La-Di-Da-Di", "Children's Story", "Hey Young World", and my favorite, "The Show" with Doug E. Fresh, has finally been granted a pardon by the NEW governor of New York, David E. Paterson.

Gov. Paterson announced: "Mr. Walters has fully served the sentence imposed upon him for his convictions, had an exemplary disciplinary record while in prison and on parole, and has been living without incident in the community for more than 10 years," Paterson said. "I urge federal immigration officials to once again grant Mr. Walters relief from deportation, so that he is not separated from his many family members who are United States citizens, including his two teenage children." (source)

Here's what I find amazing. The first notable act by the new governor is to pardon a rapper! I call that poetic justice. Come on, you know Spitzer wouldn't have done that. We 80's kids know that Slick Rick is part of the rap culture's finest hour. He's like royalty, and it took David Paterson to be swept into office in order for Uncle Ricky to finally get off the deportation train.

Paterson gets a great big thank you, but Rick needs to do a song giving a shout out to Client #9 and Girl 6. Without them, we may have lost the best thing to come out of the U.K. since fish 'n chips.

I feel like celebrating. Here's one of my all time favorites...The Show!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Dead Woman Awakes After Rigor Mortis

Doctors are calling Val Thomas a medical miracle. They said they can't explain how she is alive.

They said Thomas suffered two heart attacks and had no brain waves for more than 17 hours. At about 1:30 a.m. Saturday, her heart stopped and she had no pulse. A respiratory machine kept her breathing and rigor mortis had set in, doctors said.

"Her skin had already started to harden and her fingers curled. Death had set in," said son Jim Thomas. "She had no neurological function," said Dr. Kevin Eggleston. Her family said goodbye and doctors removed all the tubes. However, Thomas was kept on a ventilator a little while longer as an organ donor issue was discussed.

Ten minutes later the woman woke up and started talking.

Excerpts from WEWS Cleveland newsnet 5.com. Read news story and watch video here.

Still Breastfeeding a Seven Year Old



Um...yeah. That's what I said. I just spotted this over at News Bloggers on AOL.

A 2006 British documentary called Extraordinary Breastfeeding profiles a mother who (with the full support of her husband) decided to breastfeed her children until THEY were ready to wean off. The oldest daughter has fond memories of mom's milk, saying that it was "sweet...better than mangoes, even."

Even though this mother is probably biologically on target, we have been so cultured away from breastfeeding that I kept feeling like I was watching child porn. I would love to see some medical testing done on these kids to see if their immune systems and bones are stronger than children who are breastfed for a shorter time.
The human body biologically expects to breastfeed for up to about seven years of age ~ the universal age for losing the milk teeth. There is so much anthropological and scientific evidence to show that this is what our body needs and expects, regardless of the culture, climate, race or status we are born into.

"If we were meant to drink crap from a can, milk from the udder of a cow, goat, camel or horse, then we'd have been born to those animals rather than a mammalian human." (source)

McCain Denounces Hagee and Rejects Endorsement

John McCain has come out an publicly denounced and rejected San Antonio based Pastor John Hagee amid pressure surrounding Hagee's sermons regarding the Holocaust and other controversial statements. Hagee has reportedly made statements saying that Hitler was sent by God to force the Jews back to Israel, and that the Catholic Church is the "great whore" referenced in the book of Revelation. Needless to say, Jews and Catholics have been pretty upset by the remarks, so Hagee's endorsement of McCain on the heels of the blowup about Rev. Jeremiah Wright's controversial remarks were bad timing for McCain.

In a statement to CNN on Thursday, McCain said "Obviously, I find these remarks and others deeply offensive and indefensible, and I repudiate them. I did not know of them before Rev. Hagee's endorsement, and I feel I must reject his endorsement as well."


Shortly after McCain's announcement Thursday afternoon, Hagee withdrew his endorsement, citing critics who had been "grossly misrepresenting" his positions.


Now. Let's watch how the media handles this. John McCain has repeatedly tried to draw a distinction between his relationship with Hagee compared to Obama's relationship with Wright by saying that Hagee was not his spiritual advisor or pastor and that he didn't sit in his church for 20 years. Yeah, okay John. That makes it sooo much different. You're not getting out of this that easily.

The conservative media wanted to play the game of character assassination to Rev. Wright, but they didn't take into account that the same rules would apply to conservative candidates. Do I disagree with the tactic as a whole? Yes. Rev. Wright was taken out of context and reportedly Pastor Hagee was too, but unfortunately this is not a gentleman's war. There aren't even definitive candidates yet and this things is already nasty. What in the world will we have to endure on the road to November?!

I believe now more than ever, we will see the media for who they really are. Just watch and see.

Appeals Court Rules Polygamy Raid Was Illegal

I'm not surprised at all...and I completely agree. I believe that there were significant holes in the whole case and some things didn't make sense to me in the first place.

1). There was a cell phone call from a 16 year old reporting abuse. Okay, again I ask the question how did a child get access to a cell phone inside a camp with no access to the outside world and where did she get a phone number to call directly to the reported hotline?

2). An early report stated that there was a government agent who had been planted into the sect for something like 4 years. This fact was never discussed again in later reports. If there was in insider, why did the government wait four years to take action?

3). How is it legal for a law enforcement agency to raid a "neighborhood" or "gated community" because a 16 year old makes a telephone call alleging abuse? Think about it. If a 16 year old in your neighborhood called police and said she was being abused and so were many of the other children on her street, would the police block your street off and start loading your kids up on buses? No. They would have to come in and do a house-by-house investigation and prove misconduct. Furthermore, they would need a warrant in order to seize and remove your children, right?

Anyway, this mess is stinking. The appeals court has ruled that the Texas Child Protective Services overstepped their boundaries and according to CNN.com, they have 10 days to vacate an order placing the children in state custody (I'm not exactly sure what that means). They completely violated the parental rights and took a "moral" stance against FLDS. This whole thing had nothing to do with the children's rights or safety. It was about taking down another "cult" by whatever means necessary and violating freedom to practice whatever religion one chooses.

Thank God the FLDS didn't decide to stand off. There would have been unnecessary bloodshed and Waco all over again at the hands of an overzealous government.


God Bless America.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I'm in the movie "A Good Man Is Hard To Find"

Hey - to all my fans, stans, and stalkers! You can check me out on a new movie that has been released on DVD. Go rent or buy "A Good Man is Hard to Find" today! It was filmed here in Baton Rouge and is the first of several "faith based" movies that will be shot in Louisiana. I had the privilege of being a background extra and actually got a lot of camera time for an extra.

You can see me pretty clearly in all the choir scenes. I'm standing right behind Bishop Noel Jones. There is a choir rehearsal scene where I'm in a blue shirt and jeans. I'm in the background in the art gallery scene, though you only see my side profile. I also walk through the emergency room near the end of the movie. I'm a doctor (with a ponytail) at the desk in the background while the three main characters are doing their parts. As I walk out of the scene, I'm putting a pen in my shirt pocket...that was my improv...LOL!!!


Anyway, check it out. It's a pretty good film. It's a tear jerker for the sentimentals out there.
A Good Man is Hard to Find is the story of three women who each undergo romantic crises that challenge their personal and spiritual relationships. Each must overcome personal demons, resist temptations and withstand bad decisions so they can learn how to find and hold on to... a good man. (source)

My pastor's wife is in it too. She plays Golden Brooks' mother. Watch the trailer here.

Is Johnny Cochran My REAL Daddy?!

My first post about a body double was with my BFF Holly and my FAV singer Jill Scott. Here's the latest installment of body double: my dad (affectionately known around here as Uncle Freddy) and the late Johnnie Cochran, with whom I had the privilege of speaking to by phone almost daily for a while in 1999. He was the attorney representing my boss at the time, but most of the time he would relay information thru me. He was a very nice man. I think I remember telling him how much he looked like my dad. I wish they could have met.


Anyway, there have been times when we were travelling and people would do a double take at my dad. I remember one time in particular when we were in Las Vegas, we were going up an escalator and people who were coming down on the other side were looking and pointing. They thought they were seeing a celebrity! Well, they were...sort of. My dad is an internet celebrity and a hometown star.
He's delivered two babies, can fix anything, fancies himself a teacher and philosopher, Fruita Vita peddler, local herbalist, village medicine man, and is actually a very good photographer, even though he doesn't do it anymore. Oh, and if you haven't heard, he's on the hunt for a new pair of brown leather Birkenstock sandals with the heel strap. It's an emergency. Trust me.
What do you think...do we have a body double?

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Morehouse Graduates First White Valedictorian

I have to admit that my initial reaction to this headline was not positive, but after reading the articles about Morehouse College's 2008 valedictorian, I am completely convinced that on both sides of the race conversation, we all need to talk less and listen more.


As a graduate of an HBCU (historically black college & university), we are fiercely protective of our status as meccas for the next generations of college students to get the "black experience". I just had this discussion with my good friend C.K. yesterday. Going to Southern University was a complete culture shock for me. I had never been around that many black people before in my life! I had gotten a glimpse of black college life by watching "A Different World," but to actually experience it was life changing. I just remember being in awe of the all the different shapes, sizes, and shades of black men...oooweee!!!

*fanning* ...okay, I just had a flashback...

Anyway, Morehouse College is the ultimate HBCU destination for the all-male experience. Women swoon when you talk about a 'Morehouse Man' not because of a look, but because we know that a certain old school value system has been instilled in him. He is the epitome of what we imagine a successful black man should be.

Enter a young man named Joshua Packwood. He's handsome. He smart. He's not black. Packwood is not the first white student at Morehouse, there have been many. But he is the first white valedictorian that the college has ever graduated in 141 years and according to the published reports, he has earned his place and much respect.
From his first day at Morehouse College _ the country's only institution of higher learning dedicated to the education of black men _ Joshua Packwood has been a standout. The 22-year-old from Kansas City, Mo., will graduate on May 18 with a perfect 4.0 GPA and a degree in economics.

When Packwood applied to Morehouse, he had frequent conversations with George Gray, an alumnus who was a recruiter at the school. Gray was impressed by Packwood's credentials and spent months trying to talk the sought-after senior into choosing Morehouse over other elite schools."He had outstanding numbers," said Gray. "He was the kind of kid we were looking for to be a presidential scholar." After several conversations, Packwood began to suspect that Gray had no idea that he was white. His suspicions were confirmed when one of Gray's calls caught Packwood in the middle of track practice. "Don't let the white kids walk you down," Gray quipped. "Wait," Packwood responded. "You know I'm white, right?" Silence. Uneasy laughter. Confirmation.

For Packwood, knowing that he had been picked on his merits, and not as a token white recruit, made the difference.

Being surrounded by black men for his undergraduate career has taught him more about diversity, Packwood said."I've been here for four years and yet, I cannot give you the definition of black," he said. "I cannot tell you what a black man is. I really learned to look much deeper. It takes a lot of effort to know people."

(read entire article here)

It's National Dump on Al Month!


Woohoo!!! Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day, National Day of Prayer, and Dump on Al Month?! May has officially overtaken my birth month, July, as my favorite month of the year. Thank you Lord for answering prayers.

Former Wall Street banker, professor, mobile-home dweller, and soon to be author Al Scales Reynolds is crying a river over the recent breakup of his marriage with his wife, Star Jones.

Both are claiming to take the high road, but Al has hit a low point and needed to vent a little via MySpace and Facebook. Here are a few excerpts that caused me to giggle:

I grew up in a working class home, a mobile home in fact. I understand the struggles of the working class. My mother was a teacher and my father was in the military. was given values, integrity and a strong moral upbringing (thanks mom and dad). In these hard economic times, I am working to take my knowledge and experience of the business world and use it to empower and enlighten working class Americans who are often 'left behind' by traditional financial advice. [sounds like Hillary Clinton doesn't he?]

What I want people to know is that I am not the caricature portrayed by the media. I am complex, contradictory and capable of great intelligence but also remarkable stupidity. In other words, I am a human being. [sounds like Robin Thicke "...I'm too complicated, she's not complicated...I wish I could change, I wish I could change, I wish I could stop placing the blame, ohhhh..."]

In my mind, it feels like "Dump on Al Month." And I'm not having fun yet. [suck it up Al...you were married to a celebrity and as a former Wall Street banker, one would assume that you have thicker skin than that]

I have been called a gigolo, a freeloader, unemployed, a sham and many other things that don't bear repeating. People on television, radio and the internet have spoken disparagingly of my life, my sexuality, my career and my integrity. [this is not new Al...they were saying that before you married her]

Anyway, this whole display of raw emotion is to brand Al as a marketable person of interest and phase one is to victimize him. Whether it brings sympathy or contempt doesn't matter. As long as we keep his name fresh, then his mission is accomplished and he profits off his alleged marriage and divorce.

Public Relations 101. Class dismissed.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Obama '08 Monkey T-Shirt - UPDATE

In Marietta, Ga, the owner of Mulligan's Bar and Grill is selling an Obama '08 t-shirt with the likeness of Curious George, the monkey, on it. The owner claims that the shirt was not meant to be seen as a racial reference. He said he did it because he saw a resemblance between Barack Obama and Curious George.
According to AJC.com,
Rick Blake, a spokesman for publisher Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, which owns the Curious George image, said Wednesday that the company didn't authorize the use of the character's image, but hasn't been in touch with anybody selling or manufacturing the shirts.

"We find it offensive and obviously utterly out of keeping with the value Curious George represents," Blake said. "We're monitoring the situation and weighing our options with respect to legal action."

Marietta bar owner Mike Norman has said he got the T-shirts from someone in Arkansas. He started selling them at his bar -- known for the provocative, ultra-conservative political slogans often posted on signs out front -- in April but said he has no plans to mass market them.

Norman acknowledged the imagery's Jim Crow roots but said he sees nothing wrong with depicting a prominent African-American as a monkey. "We're not living in the (19)40's," he said. "Look at him . . . the hairline, the ears -- he looks just like Curious George."

You make the call. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Goodnight Suge Knight!

In the yellow trunks, standing 6'3" and weighing in at 315 lbs...the big bully...MARION "SUGE" KNIGHT!



The challenger is in the blue trunks and comes in at a svelte 5'10" and 173 lbs...this unnamed opponent is simply known as...THE BARBER!


Well, well, well. Notorious Death Row Records mogul Marion "Suge" Knight has finally been brought down to earth...literally. The giant of a man who was the personification of a bully, got knocked out cold at a club by some random dude in LA over the weekend.


Suge and his peeps beat up a guy at an L.A. club last night, but the victim landed a punch that caused Suge to go Knighty night. Suge was taken to a hospital, and LAPD officers arrived shortly thereafter, but Suge was uncooperative and refused to file a police report. (source)
You know whoever the dude is that did it is a hero in the hood now. He's probably getting free hot links at the corner stand and phone numbers left and right, but if he's smart he'll get out of town like Ice Cube did in Next Friday. You know Deebo/Suge is looking for that dude. He ain't just gonna let that slide...and there's pictures of him knocked out all over the internet too?!

Run Craig, run!!!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Neverland Ranch Avoids Foreclosure

According to a story on BlackVoices.com, A last minute deal has saved Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch from being lost to foreclosure. Just days before the ranch was to be sold off, a real estate investment firm called Colony Capital bought the loan on the singer's fortress.

Jackson is said to be in discussions with Colony and its founder, Tom Barrack Jr, "with regard to the ranch and other matters." The King of Pop hasn't stepped foot on the compound in more than two years, spending his time in Europe and Middle East since his 2006 acquittal on child molestation charges.

The ranch sprawls over 2,800 acres and features a main home, a theme park and a zoo that once housed tigers, elephants, giraffes and orangutans. The animals were removed and the ranch shut down in early 2006 following an investigation into whether Jackson had stopped paying his employees and allowed his insurance to lapse.

Jackson's overall financial situation has stabilized in the past year, thanks to a refinanced loan with help from his label Sony Music.

If anyone connected to the Jacksons is reading this, my offer still stands. Holla back Joe.

Tracking Hurricane Gustav