I'm Not A Monster...I Just Play One on TV

Incestuous daddy grandpa Josef Fritzl is not happy about his new found infamy.

Fritzl's lawyer, Rudolf Mayer, said his client had access to a television in jail and was closely watching coverage of his case, which has garnered worldwide attention.

Mayer said Fritzl was bothered by the fact that he was being made out to be a monster. He said Fritzl told him, "I'm only being portrayed as a monster and not as someone who committed monstrous acts."

Huh? Could you repeat that last part?

"I'm only being portrayed as a monster and not as someone who committed monstrous acts."

Okay Josef (with an 'F'), maybe you thought you were watching a Lifetime movie. You saw the same dude on TV that we're seeing and that guy is YOU! It's not a portrayal, it's a presentation of the facts. That's like a rapist saying "I'm only being portrayed as a rapist and not as someone who committed rape."

Since you seem to be having an identity crisis, let's try this:

monster - Pronunciation: \ˈmän(t)-stər\
Function: noun
1 a: an animal or plant of abnormal form or structure b: one who deviates from normal or acceptable behavior or character

2: a threatening force

3 a: an animal of strange or terrifying shape b: one unusually large for its kind

4: something monstrous; especially : a person of unnatural or extreme ugliness, deformity, wickedness,or cruelty

5: one that is highly successful

Let me give you a quick 4-point argument that supports the monster definition:

~ First of all playa, you had 7 children by your own daughter. (See definition #1 & 2)

~ Secondly, you kept her and the kids locked in an underground dungeon for 24 years. (See definition #1, 2, 4, & 5)

~ Thirdly, have you seen your mug shot? A picture's worth a thousand words. You have an eerie resemblance to the Grinch and he's the meanest guy we know. (See definition #1, 2, 3 & 4)

~ Fourth, you put paper stars on the walls in the dungeon. What kind of cruel person puts paper stars on the walls?! That's just sick man...sick! Those kids had never even seen real stars before or sunlight for that matter! (See definition #4)

Okay, so maybe I only had 3 valid points. I threw the last one in there just for dramatic effect. I was on a roll. Forgive me, though it was true, that was not a good point.

Anyway, the investigation continues in this case that has grabbed headlines around the world.


Oh, and by the way, Fritzl has not yet been charged. (source)



Happy hump day.